As I was dusting the shelves in my office yesterday, I picked up a picture of my daughter from when she was about 10 weeks old. She was lying on her belly, her unused, chubby feet kicked up behind her. She wore only a gummy, open-mouthed grin and happy eyes that she mugged at the camera. THIS, I thought to myself. This, the giddiness at simply existing, is exactly what I want all of my students (and my own children) to return to over the holiday break.
For so many of my 11th and 12th grade students, the time between Halloween and winter break is fraught with standardized testing, exams, projects, sporting events, recitals, college visits, worry about college acceptances, jittery test prep sessions, way too many
energy drinks (yes teens, I am talking to you), and a general sense that if you can just hold on a few days longer, things will certainly get better. Then just when you see the weekend coming into view, just one more thing comes up to the top of your task list.
My best advice for this winter break: Don’t be productive. Just don’t. Try to embrace the sentiment of the sweet baby in the photo, that is, find the simple joy in being over this holiday.
Advice for Seniors
I know you are still waiting for decisions from most of your favorite colleges. Take comfort in knowing that most of your friends are, too, and that it is natural to feel anxious about the outcome. Understand that you put your best applications forward, and the outcome, be it positive or negative, is not a reflection of your character or worthiness as a learner.
As well, you may be feeling a bit nostalgic about your final semester of high school. While I encourage you to enjoy it and take each day in stride, understand that your best years are yet to come, and what seems enormous in high school right now will fade with life experience. A good way to prove this to yourself is to reflect on middle school. Name three things that were a huge deal in sixth or seventh grade. Are they huge now? Do they seem juvenile? Silly? Worth a good laugh? Trust me when I say that when you are as old as I am, high school may seem the same way.
Stress and worry are not going to change the future, or make time go slower or faster. So be here in these holiday moments with friends, family — and the back of your eyelids — and simply exist. Read a book for fun, go outside as much as you can, revisit that instrument you quit playing a few years ago, listen to music, write a poem. Slow the mind down so all that remains is the simple joy of being. Getting some sleep (finally) should help with this.
Advice for Juniors
It will all be there on Jan. 2. I know you are in the middle of prepping for your SAT/ACT (or starting to), and I know that you are worried about whether your efforts are enough to get you into the college of your dreams. If you have been doing your best in the classroom, and pursuing activities you love outside of it, give yourself permission to take a rest.
Your AP classes, club meetings and practices will be there when you return in January. If you feel you must be productive, take just a few hours and sit down with your parents to plan some college visit travel for semester two, but that’s it. For most of the break, just find the simple joy in playing a cheesy board game with your family or writing in a journal. Unplug. Breathe. Giggle at dad jokes, listen to a podcast.
Advice for Families
Moms and dads, please understand that the pressure our teens are under is probably 10 times what we experienced in high school. Even if you are not the parent who is pushing their child to fill every minute, I promise that the academic and social pressure to be productive at all times is wearing on them. Go easy. Remember their gummy grins and the silly things they said when they were toddlers. Bring those memories full circle by sharing with your son or daughter that they are not their report cards or where they go to college.
I dare say we adults have become so busy that we have forgotten how to unplug and simply exist. I sure have. Remember when your kids were babies, and you wondered what they would say if they could talk? Recall how they could express it all with a loud cry or a contagious laugh? This holiday, take a second look at the photos of your baby that you walk by every day. Help those teenage babies remember the simple gift of being in this beautiful world. Happy Holidays!
Comments